Camping, why?

Never being one to let the truth get in the way of a good story, let's say that we returned to Go Outdoors to purchase another headtorch and returned with a new tent. Steve had decided that our current tent was too small and we should have one with more living space. I was, of course, hoping that we would pitch the little tent, realise we couldn't put all the beds down and come home.

This is one of the downsides of being married to an engineer; he has heightened spatial awareness. He therefore knows whether the sideboard one's wife is about to buy will fit in the sitting room. He also never leaves the house without a tape measure.

Anyway, with new tent (which shall henceforth be referred to as the Marquee de Sade) duly stuffed in the back of the car, along with anything else we might possibly need for the next three nights (and a few things I could have probably lived without, like the viral infection that hitched a ride on our 2 year old) we set off. I nearly did a runner waiting for the ferry to take us over to Studland Bay, but decided against it on the grounds that I might just get a good story out of it.

MdS went up relatively easily - very easily as far as I am concerned because I hid and drank tea whilst the manly component of our youth group assisted Steve. It nearly fell down on Saturday night, however, due to the storm that was raging outside. I confess at this point I sat in MdS weeping, wallowing in self-pity and sending text messages to anyone I thought I might be able to elicit a bit of sympathy from (it worked, the suggestions for improving the situation included singing jolly songs, going to a B&B and drinking gin - how I wish I could have summoned the energy to do even one of those). I should have picked up on the subliminal messages Go Outdoors was sending me - it is more waterproofs and wellies than sunglasses and swim suits. Oh, who am I kidding, I had even bought a cagoul (ooooh I am not even sure I can spell that word) and a pair of wellingtons. I KNEW it would be awful.

There is much, much more I could say. I can already think of a few chapter titles for my book entitled 'Why camping is just wrong'. At least the experience is over for another year and MdS is safely back in the shed (I might just pay a few passing rats to take a nibble). But take it from me, if your nearest and dearest suggest a trip to Go Outdoors, JUST SAY NO!